Saturday, April 1, 2006

Onion satire / Preparing your Children for Democracy

Have I got some great links for you. First, there's the Onion article "New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore". Blatant anarchist parody on the Onion ? Well, it's the only place where there would be any !

Among the 86 percent of poll respondents who were in favor of discontinuing the nation, the most frequently cited reasons were a lack of significant results from the current democratic process (36 percent), dissatisfaction with customer service (28 percent), and exhaustion (22 percent).

"I don't want to get bogged down in the country anymore," Wilmington, DE accountant Karie Ashworth said. "I'm not up in arms or anything, I'm just saying it'd be a lot easier for everyone if we just gave it up."

And then there's this post on the anti-state forum : "How to teach/prepaire our kids for Democracy".

Conduct random searches of his room in the small hours of the morning. Burst in unannounced. Go through all of his drawers and pockets. If he questions this, tell him you are acting on a tip-off from a mate of his who casually mentioned that you had both earned a bit of spare cash last week. If you find it, confiscate all of that money and also take his stereo and television. Tell him you are selling these and keeping the money to compensate you for having to make the raid. Also lock him in his room for a month as further punishment.

When he cries at the injustice of this, tell him he is being "selfish" and "greedy" and only interested in looking after his own happiness. Explain that he should learn to sacrifice his own happiness for other people and that since he cannot be relied upon or trusted to do this voluntarily, you will use force to ensure he complies. Later in life he will thank you.

1 comment:

Zachary Moore said...

I noticed that Onion article- wondered if you'd mention it. Funny and true.