Monday, June 26, 2006

A Little Duckspeak Analysis

Let's do a little duckspeak analysis. Those are always fun. We have an easy example here with George W. Bush's recent Executive Order (translation: the President's Dictatorial Whim). Here it is:

It is the policy of the United States to protect the rights of Americans to their private property, including by limiting the taking of private property by the Federal Government to situations in which the taking is for public use, with just compensation, and for the purpose of benefiting the general public and not merely for the purpose of advancing the economic interest of private parties to be given ownership or use of the property taken.


Is this good? Bad? Don't know? Well, you have to analyze it. Let's take this process step by step. First, strike out all the obvious rhetorical phrases:

It is the policy of the United States to protect the rights of Americans to their private property, including by limiting the taking of private property by the Federal Government to situations in which the taking is for public use, with just compensation, and for the purpose of benefiting the general public and not merely for the purpose of advancing the economic interest of private parties to be given ownership or use of the property taken.


Then identify all the code-words:

It is the policy of the United States to protect the rights of Americans to their private property, including by limiting the taking of private property by the Federal Government to situations in which the taking is for public use, with just compensation, and for the purpose of benefiting the general public and not merely for the purpose of advancing the economic interest of private parties to be given ownership or use of the property taken.


Not too shabby! Now replace them with correct phrases:

It is our policy to protect the rights of Americans to their private property, including by limiting our theft of land to situations in which the stealing is for our use, with just compensation, and for the purpose of getting us more votes, and not merely for the purpose of advancing the economic interest of private parties to be given ownership or use of the property taken.


We're almost there. Now just translate the rest and cut out the strike outs to get the meaning of the passage:

We try to limit our theft of land to situations in which the stealing is for our use, and for the purpose of getting us more votes, not only for the purpose of profiting the people who get use of the loot.


Ah! Now I get it! Another bit of duckspeak translated into real English. Now it makes perfect sense.

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