Thursday, March 15, 2012

FBI NSL Letters: One for Every Thousand Americans.

The FBI has issued about 300,000 National Security Letters in the past ten years. The United States has 300,000,000 people. That means the FBI has issued one NSL for every 1,000 Americans.

Do you know of at least one thousand people? Chances are, one of them is the subject of an NSL.

NSLs are letters that compel companies to hand over information on their customers, and remain secret about it. They are not allowed to inform their customers of the FBI inquiry. It is the ultimate Kafka police state tactic, and the FBI seems to just love using it.

How many actual terrorists have the FBI caught thanks to the use of these letters? One. One terrorist was caught with help from an NSL. The rest of their catches occurred without any help from NSLs. Surely the FBI is using these letters responsibly and with due diligence, no?

Private citizens should have the same ability to secretly serve NSLs on the FBI itself. Maybe then we can find J. Edgar Hoover's drag queen outfits. Who wants to bet that Robert Swan Mueller is also a closet queen? Combine his middle name with that stupid ass expression on his face, and it's not too hard to envision him as being some kind of pansy or cockgobbler.

Do you hear me, Mueller? I'm accusing you of being a homosexual and a cross dresser! Why don't you serve Blogspot with an NSL for my info now?


Mike Gogulski said...

Aaron, I think I know the device you're using here, at the end. No, they're not going to serve Blogspot with anything. One of those shiny new unarmed drones patrolling the Mexican border will just lob a cruise missile at you. No big, another day at the office, etc.

Aaron Kinney said...

At least my death will be quick and painless!